October 15, 2021 at 4:21 pm #643Joel SpectorModerator
I’ll include my list of ‘deal breakers” elsewhere, but I think it’s the wrong approach for getting us started. I want to hear your dreams and desires; we can cope with our obstacles after we’ve figured out which way we’re going and what we’re trying to do.
I want my household and my community to be places of joy. I want to go out in the world and find new experiences, friends, and wonders and bring them back to share. I want to be excited, and share my excitement, and share *your* excitement, and build with and for us the story of who we are, who we *want* to be, and how we go about becoming those people.
We also have needs for rest and recuperation. This is not merely good, it is a vital necessity. We will need to create customs around it; one of the things I think it is vital we have is remembering that we are building a new thing, and thus that there will be a constant stream of we-didn’t-think-of-thats, to which the proper response is “Okay, we’ll think of it now. Sorry to have surprised you with it.” Maybe we build our party ampetheater on the opposite side of the property from the dwellings, for those who need sleep and need quiet to accomplish that. (Not me; don’t dance on my head and I’ll sleep just fine.)
On axis number three we have safety and security. This takes more the form of seeing to our water, food, and power supplies than it does to our physical security, tho’ I would take pleasure in buying Orion a rifle and maybe resuscitate from my teen years my dream of breeding super-dogs. It also segues into the next topic of connecting with our *external* community.
Someone had brought up in conversation the idea of ravening hordes coming to steal our food. If we’re running the local soup kitchen, instead of starting out shooting we will have created the precedent of “Ask. We share.” This is a much better stance from which to start a negotiation. I want our neighbors to know who we are and *like* us.
I want all of us to feel welcome. Wholesome is a bit apprehensive about his lack of savings to contribute. I want him to understand that I, and hopefully we, consider this matter transient and trivial, and I will provide him with whatever help I have that he is willing to accept to aid him in generating more resources both for himself and for sharing. (Maybe train the squirrels to put their nuts in a bucket instead of burying them? Sorry, I have trouble keeping the engineer brain shut off. (“Oooh, problem! I fix!” “But I didn’t *ask* you to fix it.” “Ooops.”) )
One of the things I learned in my long ago coding days was to be very cautious and conservative about making rules – don’t make one unless it’s clear that doing so is necessary. This applies to many facets of being human – religious practices, for example. As long as you’re not trying to *make* me follow your practices, I am likely to want to try practicing them with you to find out how they work from the inside, and also because you’re my friend and I want to share your interests, if I can. So rules about belief are generally rules that need to not get made. Same with, say, sexual orientation or practices.
And if we make a rule and it generates a result counter to our values, we can change it, too. We need our history and our congealed wisdom to be guides, not straightjackets.
I have a lot more to say, but I think this is enough for one chunk so I’ll stop here. What do you think?
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